How to Be a Passive Aggressive/ Verbal Abuser:
1. make your partner doubt their reality. laugh at them when they talk and cling to your own twisted version of everything. (gaslighting)
2. devalue them. criticize every single thing they say and do
3. overwork them. give them a list of stuff to do and if they screw up only one tiny thing - concentrate on that thing and scream your head off. how DARE they! lazy!! They are merely YOUR chore-whore
4. don't let them sleep. 8 hours is too much. Noise, always have something to do, send the kids to them, demand sex... but no sleep!
5. leave all parenting and heavy-lifting, including 'children involved stuff' to them and be sure they know what an awful parent they are and how they are screwing up your children
6. if they are ill, they must be making it up - verbally berate them. YOU are the most important. Agree with their doctors in public but invalidate them in private.
7. sex: Ah now here you can really shine! either objectify them, sex is sex not love, make them do things they don't want to or do things to them that are rude and inappropriate. they are YOUR PROPERTY and have no feelings.
OR --- do nothing. No sex. for months and years. when they bring it up call them a nympho or sex fiend. If & when you do give it to them, they must do ALL the work and if they dare enjoy it - act like they make you ill.
8. ignore your own behavior - its all their fault anyway
9. if they try to leave: stalk, harass or take their stuff. no boundaries!!
10. ransack their belongings and go through their computer or hack it if necessary.
11. separate them from their friends at all cost. YOU are the only friend they will ever need
12. every conversation is to revolve around YOU YOU YOU and all activities are for YOU
13. make your SO plan any activities and then complain & scream about them, especially if it isn't all about YOU
14. blame them for everything your parents did to you. your parents were perfect
15. buy yourself expensive things - throw them a bone once in a while so they feel guilty - but spend predominantly on yourself
16. harass them any way you feel you have to. names in public, phone calls, stalking, humilation. its good for them
17. if they try to work or go to school - forget that. they need to focus on YOU
18. if they step right - you step left. If they step left - you step right. Do not let them WIN. This is WAR!!!
19. Court orders? ignore them - do your own thing - they won't stick up for themselves if you did your job right.
20. ANYTHING they say can & will be used against them in YOUR court of personal law. Twisting, distorting, whitewashing or intrusions on their privacy are all ok to make this happen.
21. They read too much, use the computer too much, watch too much tv, sew too much, cook too much, breathe too much, spend too much time with the kids. They never do ANYTHING right. ANYTHING!
21. make them so crazy they snap and scream & yell at you - see they ARE insane - you were right.